Domino’s Is Fixing Potholes So We’ll Get Better Pizza

Domino's - Potholes
Pizzas

Pizza Chain Believes Fewer Bumps Equals Better Product!

It seems like something from one of those Sci-Fi novels set in some dystopian future. The State has become so ineffective that The Corporations have taken over basic infrastructure maintenance.  George Orwell, anyone?

The problem is, we don’t have the usual gleaming, virtuous hero to pull us through The Mess.

Or…do we?

Enter Domino’s Pizza.  (ta-dah!)  As we gaze down America’s crumbling roads and bridges, we’re reminded that Domino’s has a vested interested in a smooth ride.  The plucky pizza chain wants their tasty pizzas to have a chance of getting to our doors in decent condition.  Fie, the cursed pothole!  Causing out lunches and dinners to bounce around in the back of the delivery drivers’ cars. Getting mangles in the process. I doubt that the cheese was stuck to the top of the box when my pizza left the store!  Right?

Domino’s is tired of their innocent pizzas, who only wish to serve humankind, being beaten all to hell by poorly-maintained roads! They even have a website that shows what pizzas are put through when their delivery vehicle impacts a pothole.

So, the folks at Domino’s have started a “Paving For Pizza” program, and they’ve taken it upon themselves to repair potholes, starting in cities which have notoriously bad roads. Burbank, California (five holes fixed), Bartonville, Texas (eight holes), an impressive 40 holes fixed in Milford, Delaware, and an astounding 150 potholes filled in Athens, Georgia.

Don’t misunderstand.  The Domino’s People aren’t entirely without self-interest.  As soon as a pothole is filled, they paint a red and blue ‘domino’ on it, complete with the words “Oh yes, we did!”. But hey…I’d rather have a bit of shameless promotion than a head-splitting chug-hole!

Thanks, Domino’s! Now, about that $1 charge for cheese & pepper… (ahem)
-Johnny

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